So, the blog is up and I'm still learning how to utilize it to it's fullest potential. Given I have like.. fewer readers than I can count on one hand - LOL - I'm guessing that the support I expected to read here is going to have to come from within, through my own words. That's cool though, afterall, this is all about learning to live in a more positive manner.
Last Friday was spent primarily vegetating on the couch in between laundry loads and trying to keep up with my 3 & 1 year olds. Then the next day my time was spent, for the most part, making a run to a store called Relax the Back so that I could purchase this in hopes that it might help ease some of my pain. (I know what you're thinking and no, I couldn't afford it either! It was a gift). The rest of the past week has been spent formulating various plans, making phone calls, spending time with my kids, and deciding whether or not I had the energy to blog. You can tell how well that went. :P
It isn't that I haven't had anything to report. I've had some interesting happenings in my MOMS Club group, *started* cleaning my home which in turn...caused me to have a couple of unpleasant days in pain, I had a couples counseling appt and also my own therapy appointment, I started adding new ideas to my current list of "things I'd like to do in the next year to benefit my heatlh", and then as if that wasn't enough I decided to start up a Fibromyalgia Support Group in my county as there isn't one (much to the encouragement of my counselor). I'm just your average over-achiever. (No wonder I'm feeling worn down, right? LOL). OH, did I mention that we had a couple days of snow & ice? I LOVE snow, from the warmth of a cozy fireside with a blanket, a good cup of tea, and a book - but that's another topic. ;)
Ultimately my favorite part of my last week has been that my kids have been home with me. Honestly, if it weren't for my kids, I don't know where I'd be right now - but I know for certain that it wouldn't be a happy place. I love my children to my very core. You'll find as you read along that I'll be speaking of them often. They keep perspective in my life when I'm on my third day in a row on the couch and wishing I could just get a diagnosis of cancer so that I'd at least have an out. (I know - horrible sounding isn't it?) But seriously, they give me a reason to continue getting out of bed every morning. No matter how bad the pain gets, all it takes is a loving hug from my son, a silly giggle from one of my daughters, or a snuggle from my baby and I am reminded that they are my reason for being. <3
Speaking of my children, I suppose this is a good time to give them official nicknames so that I can keep their identities private while still having names to refer to them as for all of my readers, ya know - the ones I'll eventually have when my blog becomes famous for changing the lives of other chronic pain suffers. (*scoffs*) But seriously, I am bound to be talking about them ALOT over the next... eternity...so, without further ado, let me introduce the loves of my life, the bits & pieces of my soul, and the very reason for my existence.
Boo is my only son. He is particularly special to me because it is he who first granted me the title of Mother. He is absolutely brilliant, kind, generous, a fantastic big brother, and a smart ass. I'm sure that last one is my fault and I'm not ashamed to take credit for it! :P This year he is attending his last year of middle school so that he can continue on to high school. It makes me feel incredibly proud and, deeply sad that he's growing up so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was teaching him how to toddle around the house, how to eat with a fork, and how to ride his first two wheeler bicycle. Now he's far surpassed me as he is in an advanced curriculum of physics & calculus; classes I never advanced to even in college. He's also surpassed me in height, but I'll save that embarrassment for another post.
Flitterbee is my angel on earth. At a very young age she reacted severely to immunizations and not long after, began to lose most of her acquired social skills and then her ability to speak regressed back to baby babble (I prefer the term "Ewok talk" because I'm a nerd and that's what her small, cooing noises sounded like.) She has since been diagnosed with severe autism. This may be something you'd feel sorry for me about but I assure you there is nothing to be sorry for. She is so beautiful, a gentle spirit, playful & mischievous with never a mal-intent, curious and eager to learn, and her favorite thing is to get hugs, be tickled, or play tag. Who could possibly complain. Having her in my life has taught me invaluable lessons in patience, persistence, and humility. While I am not thankful that she will forever have to encounter the social ignorance and ugliness of humanity and all that it entails, I am grateful for her innocence and perfect spirit to keep reminding me of what life is really all about.
Kitten is almost literally my Mini-Me. In fact images of me at each equivalent stage in her life make her appear as if I have a twin. Her personality and charm are so akin to how I was at her age. And before I forget to mention, she is so amazingly talented, artistic, musically inclined - and also just like her mom, her heart is worn on her sleeve for all to behold. Kitten has some stubborn pride issues (I wish I could say that wasn't passed on by me), and her recently diagnosed ADD gives her struggles with being ditzy and forgetful at times.
Pookie is my artsy, crafty, creative preschooler. She LOVES to sing, dance, wear pretty-princess clothes and girly leggings, and she is as sharp as a tack when it comes to calling me and her dad out on our shenanigans. She is amazingly bright! So much so that we had to enroll her into preschool at the age of three because she was craving to learn EVERYTHING there was to know! She knows her ABC's, most of her colors, can count to ten, and is learning how to add and subtract - all without the fad programs like "Your Baby Can Read". I'm very proud of her and she's such a joy to be around, with her gentle spirit and her eagerness to interact and make everyone around her smile and be happy. :)
Moonchkin is my baby. Well she isn't exactly a baby anymore as she's recently learned to walk just prior to her first birthday and now she's mastered how to climb onto (or INTO) just about anything that isn't taller than she is! LOL She isn't talking yet but she points, gives eye contact, and responds to her name so I feel fairly confident that she won't have to struggle with any delays as her oldest sister has. (That's one thing about having subsequent children after having a child diagnosed on the spectrum, you're ALWAYS watching out for signs that the gene was passed on to more than one child.) Fortunately for her, she has a different father than Flitterbee and given HIS history of social oddities I believe it's safe to say that Moonchkin is in the clear!
I am often asked if I'm finished having children. I find that to be an offensive question because it is usually preempted with eyes bulging, eyebrows raised incredulously, and accompanied with an aire of "Geez, she's either Mormon or trying to "over-populate the planet"! For the record, I was raised Mormon - and am VERY NOT Mormon anymore thanks to craptacular parentage and have no desire to overwhelm the planet with minature versions of myself. However, I DO have every right and intention of making up for my unhealthy and dysfunctional upbringing by creating a family of my own and raising them with morals, values, self-confidence, and an understanding that they will be loved unconditionally for the rest of their eternal lives.
There you have it. My reason for being. Flowers have been formed from my past rainclouds, and they are beautiful. <3
Believe it or not, it took me nearly a full week to complete this one post - let's see how I do next time! ;)
Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.
~Rabindranath Tagore
No comments:
Post a Comment