Creating Your Own Silver Linings...for Dummies

I haven't always been the healthiest person but I'd like to think that when compared to those who suffered from disabling or terminal conditions, I had it pretty good growing up. I had frequent ear infections as a child, caught the latest viral bugs going around school just the same as the next kid, sprained ankles, twisted knees, and the like. When I was 12 years old, everything in terms of my health changed after I received a diagnosis of mononucleosis/Epstein Barr virus.

I believe that mono was quite possibly the cause and the beginning of a great number of years of declining health. I'm sure the multitude of struggles in my life haven't exactly helped keep illness and emotional distress at bay.  To spare the drama and time consuming details all in one post (which will bore not only you to tears, but me as well) I will keep from sharing my lengthy list of symptoms for now. The short list is that over the past six years I've been seen by numerous doctors and so far have been diagnosed with "severe" Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Ulnar Tunnel, Sciatica, RLS, PTSD, Depression, and it seems that I have an underlying (and yet to be diagnosed) autoimmune disease.

However, over the past three years I've experienced a steady decline in my mood, my pain, and my overall health. I believe this to be, in part, because I haven't had adequate medical care. (This, of course, is a gross understatement but because I'm trying to keep this on a positive note today I'll refrain from ranting.) But also because also there is a vicious cycle when someone is ill with chronic pain. Persistent pain naturally causes a person to become more sedate and reclusive, being more sedate and reclusive in turn worsens the pain and increases depression which then contributes to more pain. Rinse, repeat. Inadequate care combined with the aforementioned vicious cycle equates to a very miserable existence. With five children, one of which has severe autism and two who are still very young (one age 3 and another age 13months) it is obvious that I don't have the time to waste on illness, pain, fatigue, or emotional distress. Afterall, mothering five kids offers that all on its own!

I have allowed the chaos to take control of me long enough. I'm done with begging craptacular doctors to give me the respect and time I deserve. I'm frustrated with all the blood tests, urine samples, MRI's, and other diagnostic testing that doesn't prove anything more than that my body is a complicated pool of something being wrong, only to then hear a doctor say, "Something is definitely wrong, we just don't know what yet." I'm weary of the self-defeating behaviors that stem from those dismal doctor appointments that aren't helping me feel any better and only worsen my anxiety and feelings of guilt. Modern medicine is doing very little, if not worsening, my condition and if I'm going to improve my situation, I have to take matters into my own hands. Consider this my official announcement to all friends, family and the cyberfolk who happen to pass this way; today I am taking a stand and I would greatly appreciate any support or words of encouragement as I push ahead and move forward with alternative treatments.

Within six months I hope to have completed, will be continuing with, or have at least tried the following in an effort to lessen my depression & anxieties, ease my pain, improve my overall health, and ultimately take control back of my life! After those six months, I'll revisit and re-evaluate my next step. My hope is to make a positive step in the right direction. Feel free to comment, commiserate, share your own stories, or just lurk. Your job, if you so choose to accept it, is to be my support system and in turn, I hope to be your inspiration. All I ask is that you please be respectful and gentle in your criticisms. I'll warn you now that I can be a chatterbox and won't always make sense but I will do my best to answer questions and respond to posts.

And now for my plan:

1) I am starting a blog (and here it is!) to document my journey through my healing process both physically and emotionally. Obviously the healing is really only in the beginning stages so bear with me as I work on less negativity and more positivity. This will help me keep on track , will assist me in keeping positive and

2) I will get a 30-60 minute massage (depending on financial limitations) at least 2 times per month to assist in minimizing pain and stress. In between, I will utilize hot baths and/hot tubs as available.

3) I will strive for a minimum of 30 minutes each day for myself to de-stress. This may seem like an easy task but trust me, it will likely be one of my greatest challenges.

4) I will make efforts to improve my sleep and my quality of sleep. The use of a regular schedule, melatonin, relaxation techniques, and music will all be accessed as needed.

5) I will improve my organization and time management skills and get them back on track to help alleviate stress and so that I do not overbook myself. This will include using the word, "No. I'm not able to do that." when I need to rather than feeling bad for having thought of declining to help someone else out with something. (Yeah, so that's the plan but with five kids and loads of self-guilting...LOL We'll see how well I do after the first week! :P )

6) Once pain is diminished enough to allow for improved mobility, I will enroll myself in either a Yoga or Tai Chi class (one that is designed for arthritis patients)

7) I will save up money to see a GOOD Rheumatologist (if you have any good references, please let me know!) outside of my insurance and present him/her with all my blood test results, my list of symptoms, and a very held back tongue and see if I can get more answers without him/her knowing beforehand that I have already been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I have my suspicions that once a Dr knows you have that, they really don't care to bother finding out what ELSE may exist, potentially missing vital diagnoses.

I can already tell that this blogging stuff is going to take some getting used to. It is 9:30 at night and I began this single post sometime around 10:30 this morning. Gotta love distractions! :P